Motivation, Productivity, Taking It On

Making Time

Have you ever said to yourself,

 “I’d love to (insert goal ), but I just don’t have the time.”

Or,

“I need more time.”

Sound familiar?

In today’s busy world we all say it and we all kind of lie to ourselves. The hard truth is, typically if we really want to do something we find the time to make it happen. By not finding the time what we are really saying is, I really don’t want to ( insert goal here ) as much as I want to relax, surf Facebook, and watch Joanne and Chip Gaines create someone else’s dream home.

I will be the very first to admit I do this. Fixer Upper is the bomb! Can you blame me! Hello, they are fabulous! But would we know how fabulous they are if they weren’t such doers? Would we know how funny Chip is or how talented Joanne is if they sat home and wasted hours doing things that really do nothing to improve their life? How about we find time to show the world how fabulous we are!

We all need down time, but we have to recognize when we are recharged and then get back to doing. Especially those of us who are spread thin. If you are trying to build a business after your nine to five or after the kids go to sleep or both, then you really have to ask yourself what do you want – to see pictures of someone’s brothers cousins baby on Facebook or an extra thirty minutes to work on a goal you really wish you had time for? Sometime what we are filling our time with is what we really want, like time with loved ones and that is ok. We just have to own and recognize that what we are saying is we want this more than that.

The choice is always ours and we have to make it daily. Remember our lives are what and where they are because of the decisions we make daily, good or bad. Decide where you want to be and make the decisions to get yourself there.

Motivation, Taking It On

Bias for Action- Part II: Tips for Success

In Part I, we talked about how to identify the bad habits we have created in order to avoid acting. If you haven’t read it, please do. I promised you next we would talk about how to actually have a bias for action. So, you want to know how to stop avoiding and start acting? For the longest time I wanted to know the same, so what did I do…you guessed it, research….but it wasn’t an avoidance tactic this time! Holy moly!

Would you like to know what I learned? Here are my top 5 tips for creating a bias for action:

  1. Like the Nike ads say, “Just do it!” Don’t give yourself time to think. When the idea hits- act immediately, don’t give self-doubt time to take hold. Sometimes taking action is just hard and it’s going to be that way. It is that way for everyone.

 

  1. Have goals and write them down. Put your goals where you can see them, if you can. This is good for small and big goals alike. A small goal may be keeping the sink clear of dishes. When you walk by your sink with a few dishes, you may be inclined to avoid doing them or say you will do it later. When you walk by and you happen to see your goal posted on the fridge to keep the sink clean, you may be more inclined to turn around and go back and do those dishes.

 

  1. Make a plan. Yep, planning is a great way to take action, but here is the deal…you don’t have to have every step and every action laid out. This is where many, including myself can take action and turn it into avoidance. It has something to do with the perfectionism bug so many of us have. The key here is to figure out what the first step is, and figure out how to take it. As other steps or ideas about how to reach your goal come to you, take note and add them to your list of ideas or plan of action.

 

  1. Make to do list, but not your typical to do lists. Either the night before or first thing in the morning, take some time and decide what your key tasks for the day are, there should only be a few, three or four at max. These key tasks should be items that propel you towards your major objectives. In The Productivity Project, Chris Baily, talks about how easy it is to get caught up doing tasks that really aren’t being productive.

 

  1. Take action on little things. You know what your goals are, and I bet in your list of big and small goals you have some little things you can address. By making yourself take action on the little things daily, it becomes easier to take action on the bigger things. This doesn’t mean little things like checking email repeatedly, this means little things you otherwise wouldn’t do. Little things that further creating new habits. We can sometimes trick ourselves with mindless tasks that make us think we are being productive, when we are really not.

 

And here is a bonus tip…

 

  1. Be aware of your avoidance tactics. Knowing what your avoidance tactics are makes it easier to notice when you find yourself wanting to slip into old habits. Don’t do it. If you feel yourself falling into one of your bad habits used to avoid, go to step one and just do it. Or like Mel Robbin’s suggests, use her Five Second Rule.

 

These are just a few ideas to get you started. Maybe you have some tips you can share on how you make yourself get moving and do hard things? If so, I would love to hear about them. Do you practice any of the above tips?  What are your thoughts? Do they help you?

 

-Tonya

Parenting

Getting Real

So It seems like every where we turn there are images and graphics to show us how perfect everyone’s life is. Right? I mean Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr… and like a thousand more it seems all provide us a place where we can post things we want to share and remember. And it’s only natural to post the good things, our “A side”, our hits. Occasionally you see some B sides, but let’s face it the majority is A side. Don’t you think?

Well my life, as wonderful as it is, it is far from all A side. I truly am grateful for the life I have. I worked hard to get here and I love it. But it’s not perfect. Like one think you will notice if you look at any of my social media pages is there are no pictures of me from the chest down, that is if I can help it. Why because I need to lose like 75 lbs.

In addition, one of the reasons I seldom post pics is because my house is such a wreck I can’t find a clean spot to have as a back drop. Matter of fact, my kitchen just this morning is the background of the graphic I’ve attached.


Our weekends are filled with a relentless cycle of trying to dig out of our mess. We are masters at foreboding joy until that day when we have it together. So wrong!
We moved in October and we still have boxes. Matter of fact, I still have a Christmas box sitting in my living room. Why? Because I’m lazy and don’t want to deal with it.

My daughter comes home with a school folder and every night we are suppose to initial and acknowledge we see the G that shows she has behaved well. We have so many blanks where we haven’t initialed. Truth be told my daughter, who is seven, told me she started signing her dad’s initials since we never sign it. When I looked at the initialed page, I couldn’t tell which were hers.

When I come home from work I often want to stick my head in the sand. We are suppose to come in do homework, dinner, reading, bath, bed. I am tired. My brain is zapped from work. I suck at resisting the whining. We get through the homework best we can. We get the bath. For dinner, it’s usually something horrible and quick. We have like horrible eating habits and my seven year old is learning them. Yay parent of the year!

Do we see these issues and want to fix them, of course. Sometimes we make steps forward and sometimes we make steps backwards and I’m ok with that. It’s life. Some days I feel like I’m failing at everything. And so there are times I withdraw from the world and as much adulting as possible and just veg. But after that I get up, re-engage, and start moving forward.

How about you? Do you only share the A side?

-Tonya