Motivation, Taking It On

The One Characteristic You Don’t Want to Have

Growing up, I wanted to escape my circumstances. In order to figure out how, I watched people. I noticed how people responded to things. I noticed how people who were where I wanted to be acted. I noticed how people acted who were not where I wanted to be. I noticed everything. And you know what, there were commonalities between the people who were where I wanted to be and commonalities between the people who were not where I wanted to be.

As I grew up and the people around me grew up, I watched and saw how these characteristics predicted over and over again where people would end up. There were several characteristics that seemed to be indicators, but there was one that stood out.

I don’t want to say the one that stood out predicts the have and have nots, because that is not exactly what it does. This particular characteristic is more of an indicator of stability, happiness, success, overall wellbeing and self-sufficiency.

The interesting thing is this one characteristic, which I tend to think of as a disease kind of like addiction is just like addiction. It is like addiction in that it is something that some of us may be more prone to and others less, but regardless it is something that can be conquered by doing the work.

You are going to be disappointed when you find out what it is. If you suffer from it, you might even get downright mad.  It’s a pretty common reaction by people who have this characteristic or disease. It is lack of personal responsibility, also called whoa is me disease.

Do you have it? Do you know someone who does?  I bet you at least know someone with it. I know quite a few.

It’s hard to watch. For me the hard part about it is seeing people who are capable of so much, make excuses after excuse. Watch and listen. The people who are floundering, the ones who can’t get traction, the ones who can’t get ahead, who can’t hold a job, who keep finding themselves in bad spots over and over…listen to their words. I guarantee it will be there. I guarantee you will hear over and over how it is not their fault. These things happened to them. If it wasn’t for these outside forces, they would be fine.

This doesn’t mean that bad things don’t happen to good people. Horrible things happen. There are definitely things that are out of our control. We don’t choose illness, losing someone we love, and a thousand other things. The fact is no matter the situation we have a choice in how we deal with it. Even in the most horrible situation we have a choice. There is always a choice.

The whoa is me group, the people who lack personal responsibility, they look outward. They look outward to blame. They look outward for solutions. Others are to blame and others are the solution. In my experience this mindset leads to a difficult life. The life it often leads too is way more difficult than the alternative.

In my experience, the path to a good life is as easy taking responsibility and owning that there is always something we can do to impact our situation.

There is always something we can do, absolutely always.
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